Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Ella, revisited
Okay. It took a while, but here it is.
Lelo's Ella rocks.
I used it by myself and I wasn't all that impressed. Although to be completely honest, playing with toys by myself isn't really my thing, so that is no judgment on any particular toy.
But oh, my, as a thing in my husband's hand? He only used the traditional end on me, not the G-spot one. But he used it to penetrate my pussy while he took my ass, and that was just right for that double-penetration sensation. He's also used it several times to continue sex once his own cock is done for the night, and that is quite good as well. We have this and the Njoy Pure Wand - they each have their strengths. The strength of Ella, in comparison, is that it doesn't weigh much and can be left in place without shifting itself around. Doing kegel exercises around it is very very pleasant.
We prefer non-vibrating toys for various reasons, not least of which is the desensitizing that can occur when vibrations are applied to sensitive bits. Like the song says, "I'm sensitive, and I'd like to stay that way."
Ella's little bump is placed just right for rocking against the g-spot, as I'm sure countless other women have already mentioned. I'll add my opinion to theirs; it's true.
The silicon texture is lovely, it provides just a little bit of drag, so much like skin. It has a little give to it, but it's mostly firm. It's completely seamless. It's quite beautiful; it intrigues without intimidating.
Definitely a worthwhile addition to our toy drawer.
Lelo's Ella rocks.
I used it by myself and I wasn't all that impressed. Although to be completely honest, playing with toys by myself isn't really my thing, so that is no judgment on any particular toy.
But oh, my, as a thing in my husband's hand? He only used the traditional end on me, not the G-spot one. But he used it to penetrate my pussy while he took my ass, and that was just right for that double-penetration sensation. He's also used it several times to continue sex once his own cock is done for the night, and that is quite good as well. We have this and the Njoy Pure Wand - they each have their strengths. The strength of Ella, in comparison, is that it doesn't weigh much and can be left in place without shifting itself around. Doing kegel exercises around it is very very pleasant.
We prefer non-vibrating toys for various reasons, not least of which is the desensitizing that can occur when vibrations are applied to sensitive bits. Like the song says, "I'm sensitive, and I'd like to stay that way."
Ella's little bump is placed just right for rocking against the g-spot, as I'm sure countless other women have already mentioned. I'll add my opinion to theirs; it's true.
The silicon texture is lovely, it provides just a little bit of drag, so much like skin. It has a little give to it, but it's mostly firm. It's completely seamless. It's quite beautiful; it intrigues without intimidating.
Definitely a worthwhile addition to our toy drawer.
Life is good
He's long and lean and wiry and he moves with the unconscious grace of a man who knows his body is just a shell for his spirit, and thus occupies it completely, without hiding inside it. He slides back into bed with me, his arms and his leg wrap around me and encircle me with absolute love and complete acceptance and understanding. His hand threads through my hair and holds my head against his chest, regularly squeezing me to him and murmuring sweet words of joy and fulfillment.
I am not silent in this. I have my own words of delighted satisfaction that spill over; I couldn't contain them if I tried. I am purring and squeezing him back.
"Life is good with you." he tells me as I gaze adoringly up at him.
Sweeter words were never spoken.
I am not silent in this. I have my own words of delighted satisfaction that spill over; I couldn't contain them if I tried. I am purring and squeezing him back.
"Life is good with you." he tells me as I gaze adoringly up at him.
Sweeter words were never spoken.
Oh, wow
I had a horrible headache earlier. I'm very sensitive to caffeine and I resisted taking the migraine medication because I knew it would keep me awake long past a reasonable hour, but I finally caved to the pounding and took it.
Then my husband took me to bed with him.
It was good. Nothing we haven't done before. Or that's what I thought.
Suddenly he whispered "I bet these breasts are sensitive," stroking them while he fucked me sideways, "It'd be a shame if something happened to them. Then again, maybe they deserve something to happen to them."
And he flogged my breasts with the small flogger that I made. Oh. Yes, please. He had to stop after a bit because he got too excited from my responses and he wanted to last longer. After he was finished fucking me, he held me facing him in one arm and flogged my breast (the other was pressed against him) with the other hand, while kissing me, until I screamed several times into his mouth. So incredibly intense. I could feel his confidence and skill with the implement grow as he used it.
He stopped and stroked my heated flesh oh, so so gently, lightly, lovingly, carefully. Barely touching it at all, actually. It was heavenly. We talked for a long time, and he held me encircled gently in his arms while I listened to his heart beat.
I had a fantasy once, as a young teenager. The specifics of it changed, but it always involved two men - one who would torture me horribly and one who would come and rescue me from the torturer, soothe me, make love to me, hold me. I have both in one guy. How amazingly awesome is that? That's part of what we talked about.
I thanked him for the fucking, the flogging, and the talking. I kept telling him how much I loved him and making happy noises, until I remembered the pills I took and that I probably wouldn't be falling asleep anytime soon. I explained this to him and asked him if it was okay if I left so he could rest better. He said he'd miss me, but it was probably better. He does have work in the morning.
So happy.
Then my husband took me to bed with him.
It was good. Nothing we haven't done before. Or that's what I thought.
Suddenly he whispered "I bet these breasts are sensitive," stroking them while he fucked me sideways, "It'd be a shame if something happened to them. Then again, maybe they deserve something to happen to them."
And he flogged my breasts with the small flogger that I made. Oh. Yes, please. He had to stop after a bit because he got too excited from my responses and he wanted to last longer. After he was finished fucking me, he held me facing him in one arm and flogged my breast (the other was pressed against him) with the other hand, while kissing me, until I screamed several times into his mouth. So incredibly intense. I could feel his confidence and skill with the implement grow as he used it.
He stopped and stroked my heated flesh oh, so so gently, lightly, lovingly, carefully. Barely touching it at all, actually. It was heavenly. We talked for a long time, and he held me encircled gently in his arms while I listened to his heart beat.
I had a fantasy once, as a young teenager. The specifics of it changed, but it always involved two men - one who would torture me horribly and one who would come and rescue me from the torturer, soothe me, make love to me, hold me. I have both in one guy. How amazingly awesome is that? That's part of what we talked about.
I thanked him for the fucking, the flogging, and the talking. I kept telling him how much I loved him and making happy noises, until I remembered the pills I took and that I probably wouldn't be falling asleep anytime soon. I explained this to him and asked him if it was okay if I left so he could rest better. He said he'd miss me, but it was probably better. He does have work in the morning.
So happy.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Floggers
Before I begin this post, I feel the need to warn my readers that I will say some unpopular things. I also advise discretion for the video links in the first part of the post. I feel the need to link to them because they illustrate what I mean, but by all means feel free not to look at them. The first part of this post is not sexy. Nothing I say is meant as a value judgement against anyone who may feel differently. These are my informed opinions, and I hold them dear.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Topping from the bottom
I am a submissive woman. I want to please my husband more than I want anything else - but I'm still a person, despite my extreme turn-on by being objectified and used.
That very turn-on is part of my personhood.
I am a person in a monogamous, long-term, loving relationship in which my husband wants me happy as much as I want him happy. It's just a bonus for him (most of the time) that him using me is one of the things that keeps me happy.
So, if there's a thing that I think will make our dynamic better, hotter, stronger, because it will ignite the submissive part of me more, I tell him. I don't demand things; if he did it solely because I wanted it then it would take the heat out of it. But I do let him know, regularly, how hot this thing would be to me and how much I'd like to try it. If he does it, I think it is because arousing me gets him hot, rather than that he thinks 'the thing' will turn him on, but it's still because he wants to.
The morning cocksucking thing is a good example. I've been telling him how hot I think that would be for a few months now. He is a nice guy, really, the nicest guy I've ever met. The thought of waking me up just to suck his cock unsettled him enough that it wasn't even a turn-on for him to have it done. But if I'm already clearly awake and frisky (not groggy), he has no problem telling me to do it, he enjoys it immensely and it leaves him no work to do except hold my head the way I love so much. That just means that in order to submit to him, I must wake up and be alert. The last thing I want is him unsettled in order to turn me on, so I don't need him to wake me. I need to submit to him. I need that absolute dominance, my throat full of cock, unable to breathe, able only to please him with my mouth.
Just like any relationship, there's compromise. He can't read my mind. He's just a man. He thrives on my responses to what he does to me. He didn't come into this on his own; I was and am his first everything, and it has been a long journey, but he is Dominant. He just happens to be my Dominant, tailor made to everything that gets inside my head and arouses me. The things he does are designed to titillate me, and we both know that. While he would not want to go back to vanilla, he would have been fine staying there.
I know not every Dom/me is like that. I know often enough they have their own things, and forcing a sub to do those things even if he/she doesn't really want to will still turn the sub on. It would me as well, if there was a thing he wanted me to do to that I didn't want. It has, the few times he has insisted on such a thing.
But, surely, any Dom/me (in a relationship) worth his/her salt wants to know what goes on inside their sub's head - wants to know those keys to the innermost desires that will turn that sub into a molten puddle of goo, or at least a malleable lump of putty. Every set of people is different, but the top side has to be more difficult, getting inside the bottom's head, figuring out what works and what doesn't. The explicit details of "this will work and this won't" have to be like gold. Again, people not = mind readers.
Of course, I would never suggest "you don't want to do that to me" or "you do want to do that to me" during a scene, or even say such things directly otherwise. As I mentioned, that spoils the entire thing. Beyond this, "topping from the bottom" seems a moot point to me. I see it as open communication and loving desire to make everything work better - to oil the works, so to speak.
That very turn-on is part of my personhood.
I am a person in a monogamous, long-term, loving relationship in which my husband wants me happy as much as I want him happy. It's just a bonus for him (most of the time) that him using me is one of the things that keeps me happy.
So, if there's a thing that I think will make our dynamic better, hotter, stronger, because it will ignite the submissive part of me more, I tell him. I don't demand things; if he did it solely because I wanted it then it would take the heat out of it. But I do let him know, regularly, how hot this thing would be to me and how much I'd like to try it. If he does it, I think it is because arousing me gets him hot, rather than that he thinks 'the thing' will turn him on, but it's still because he wants to.
The morning cocksucking thing is a good example. I've been telling him how hot I think that would be for a few months now. He is a nice guy, really, the nicest guy I've ever met. The thought of waking me up just to suck his cock unsettled him enough that it wasn't even a turn-on for him to have it done. But if I'm already clearly awake and frisky (not groggy), he has no problem telling me to do it, he enjoys it immensely and it leaves him no work to do except hold my head the way I love so much. That just means that in order to submit to him, I must wake up and be alert. The last thing I want is him unsettled in order to turn me on, so I don't need him to wake me. I need to submit to him. I need that absolute dominance, my throat full of cock, unable to breathe, able only to please him with my mouth.
Just like any relationship, there's compromise. He can't read my mind. He's just a man. He thrives on my responses to what he does to me. He didn't come into this on his own; I was and am his first everything, and it has been a long journey, but he is Dominant. He just happens to be my Dominant, tailor made to everything that gets inside my head and arouses me. The things he does are designed to titillate me, and we both know that. While he would not want to go back to vanilla, he would have been fine staying there.
I know not every Dom/me is like that. I know often enough they have their own things, and forcing a sub to do those things even if he/she doesn't really want to will still turn the sub on. It would me as well, if there was a thing he wanted me to do to that I didn't want. It has, the few times he has insisted on such a thing.
But, surely, any Dom/me (in a relationship) worth his/her salt wants to know what goes on inside their sub's head - wants to know those keys to the innermost desires that will turn that sub into a molten puddle of goo, or at least a malleable lump of putty. Every set of people is different, but the top side has to be more difficult, getting inside the bottom's head, figuring out what works and what doesn't. The explicit details of "this will work and this won't" have to be like gold. Again, people not = mind readers.
Of course, I would never suggest "you don't want to do that to me" or "you do want to do that to me" during a scene, or even say such things directly otherwise. As I mentioned, that spoils the entire thing. Beyond this, "topping from the bottom" seems a moot point to me. I see it as open communication and loving desire to make everything work better - to oil the works, so to speak.
A few loosely related memories
Before I got pregnant, we wanted a child pretty badly - a breathing testament to our love for each other. We were trying, but we weren't planning on seeking fertility assistance. I was buying pregnancy tests from Dollar Tree in bulk and taking one randomly 2-3 times a week. They were always negative. I had periods back in those days that put me in bed all day, writhing and - literally - screaming. To put my pain tolerance in perspective, when I finally had my child and was in unmedicated, induced labor (which I've been told is more painful than the natural kind), I barely grunted.
One of those days, my husband actually took off from work and spent the day in bed with me, giving me orgasms (Best. Pain relief. Ever.) and rubbing my back alternately.
One Saturday morning, we were snuggling together until quite late, and I worked my way down his body and I did that cocksucking thing that I so love to do. We were grieving the recent loss of a family member at the time so everything was slow and gentle. Afterward, I went into our bathroom and took a pregnancy test. The second line showed, but only so faintly that I was unsure. My husband came in when I whispered in a hush for him to, and I showed it to him and asked him what he made of it. "Maybe you're a little bit pregnant?" he said, followed by "but you can't get pregnant doing what we just did."
So funny.
One of those days, my husband actually took off from work and spent the day in bed with me, giving me orgasms (Best. Pain relief. Ever.) and rubbing my back alternately.
One Saturday morning, we were snuggling together until quite late, and I worked my way down his body and I did that cocksucking thing that I so love to do. We were grieving the recent loss of a family member at the time so everything was slow and gentle. Afterward, I went into our bathroom and took a pregnancy test. The second line showed, but only so faintly that I was unsure. My husband came in when I whispered in a hush for him to, and I showed it to him and asked him what he made of it. "Maybe you're a little bit pregnant?" he said, followed by "but you can't get pregnant doing what we just did."
So funny.
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