Thursday, March 20, 2014

My favorite posts: Q&A

Don't worry, I haven't disappeared again. It's tempting but I'm putting forth an effort to pretend to be a person, and maybe the feelings will go along with it eventually.

What I have been doing is reading the fantastic sporking that Jenny Trout has given the 50 Shades trilogy. Pretty much nonstop. It's like reading the books, but with a constant companion who dreads the experience as much as you do and has a wonderful sense of humor.

I highly recommend it, if, like me, you won't lay a finger on those books for reasons that have nothing to do with "explicit sex" - because believe me, the sex I've read in those books is definitely not what I'd call explicit.

"Down there."


NOW. The lovely Pearl asked me what one (or 2) of my favorite posts are, and why. I do have a sidebar with some of what I consider my best writing linked in it under the heading "Some of my favorite posts," but to be fair I haven't updated it in quite some time. I thought I would share one sex post and one informative one. So, not to be repetitive or anything, but this piece is definitely right up there:  Hot anal action

Why? Because I genuinely adore anal sex, but it doesn't happen often (yes, still), and this was one of the most mind-blowing experiences I have ever had.

As for the informative one, I'm going to go fairly recent. The shockingly simple motivations of sexuality

Lily's original post was much, much better than mine, but at least this one keeps the idea going.

Thanks so much for the question, Pearl!

Any more from anyone? It's still March!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Why I don't like kissing

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "haha, this is one of those clickbait titles, isn't it? This is going to be one of those essays where the writer explains that she doesn't like kissing, she loves kissing."

If that's what you're thinking, you're wrong.

Kissing, as it is, does nothing for me. What the hell? It's two sets of lips shaking hands.

My husband does like kissing. "It feels nice. It feels intimate," he says.

I do like kisses - giving and receiving - little drops of affection against skin. But lips-to-lips? Meh, says I. But I think I figured out why. It's too much of an egalitarian activity. We press our lips together and we move them - and our tongues - in certain ways. It's just a thing people do.

However. If there is force involved, or once I am turned on enough, it's all a different thing. It becomes exciting. His hand on my throat/jaw, forcing my face to stay where it is while his mouth claims mine? Oh, fuck. Even better, one hand on the back of my head while the other is on my throat. Fuck, yes. That's a kissing-related activity I can get into.

And then, with extreme arousal, comes extreme behavior. I hadn't experienced this in so long I'd almost forgotten, but I did just last night and what a revelation that is. There is a point of arousal when I just need him inside me, any bit of him, anywhere. If all I can do is kiss him and suck his lip into my mouth, then that is what I will do. I will attempt to devour him with every available part that can do so.

I'm indifferent to kissing, but I love being kissed.

And apparently when I am aroused enough by the being kissed, all my previously established kissing behavior is just out the bloody window.

Strange beasts, humans.

It's still March, y'all! Any questions? Ask and be answered!

Friday, March 14, 2014

Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated: Q&A

Q1. Where have you been? Why did you stop blogging and commenting and answering comments?

There's no one easy pat answer to this, and for the record I don't actually consider myself to have "stopped" blogging. I just haven't had anything to blog about. Once in a while a thought would tickle my brain and I'd think "that would be an amazing blog post," but then the pervasive tendrils of apathy that depression sinks into a person's soul would remind me that there really was no point. 

I'm teaching my child at home, too, and the amount of time I have for something as concerted and focused as blogging and maintaining the (very valued) relationships that blogging has brought to me has dropped to nearly nil. I am currently seeking to resolve this, but having a new reader come up next to you every few minutes to ask a question puts a damper on reading blogs. My blog itself has always been light on graphic images for the very reason that I have small eyes that could see them at any time. Now those small eyes also read words. It's just another dynamic that I have to think of when settling down to write.

As to other people's blogs - well, the same thing sort of applies. There tend to be graphic images willy-nilly, and while I actually have no problem with my little one seeing nudity, I do have a problem with nudity itself being sexualized for him so early. I do read certain blogs still that I've found are a sort of "safe" zone - yours, fiona, The Pervocracy, the dirty normal, t1klish's. But none of those blogs need my input. 

I occasionally peek over at other people's too when I can, and I will comment when I feel I have something to add or some helpful bit of advice.

The other part is, as alluded to above, an intense depression that has taken me over for the better part of this year. Our sex life dwindled away (causing the depression rather than caused by it), and even when we would have sex I wouldn't orgasm. I couldn't honestly tell you if I've had more orgasms this year than I have fingers. 

Add all that in with a 3-week-long visit from in-laws, and... well, a sex and relationship blog has to have something to keep it going, doesn't it? I try my best not to write about issues I'm having until they're resolved. It seems unfair to the relationship and my husband to air our issues while they're ongoing.

Q2. What is an amazingly sexy moment that you and your husband have had since you stopped regularly blogging?

Yeah, about that. Sex has been painful for me lately. After sex I would ache inside for a few days. I think it just hasn't been frequent enough for my body to adjust to the sort of sex we were having. I recently told him about this and he was dismayed.

It is getting better. We had amazing sex just earlier this week that has only caused a little bit of aching for me. That would have to be my top moment then, when he told me he could be gentle enough but he needed "some of that," when referring to his finger's gently probing me and finding me very very ready.

I told him I was afraid, and he said "You should be. Didn't you learn from last time? Maybe you should stop me."

I love it when he says stuff blaming me for something he's doing. It really works me up. 

Q3. What is your favorite decadent treat (food not fantasy ��). 

Hm. I make these killer reverse chocolate white chocolate chip cookies with dark cocoa, vanilla bean powder,  and vegan white chocolate chips (the veganness makes all the difference, regular dairy-laden white chocolate made my mouth unhappy even before I was vegan). 

I've been baking homemade bread every day too though, and a slice of that with margarine and strawberry jam may just be my absolute favorite. 

Q4. What is your current goto fantasy to cum?

So... yeah. I haven't been fantasizing. I've been mired in the pit of my own despair for way way too long. Also I find it frustrating to fantasize when there's no partnered sex forthcoming, although I have been known to fantasize during partnered sex. . . but there's not been much of that either. My fantasies of late have been more of the "wink out of existence" variety than the "have an orgasm" variety. 

But if we want to stretch "current" back to last year sometime, then my regular, sure-fire ones tended to involve restraint and triple penetration with lots and lots of talking and being upbraided for..whatever. Generally something I have no control over, like the weather or something he's done himself. 

My triple penetration fantasies go something like this: Dildo, gag, anal plug, spanking, having each object removed for a cock to take its place, then replaced when the cock is ready to move on to the next opening. Just being full constantly, and talked to. 

Or another one is the one where he tells me what to do when he's not here, to be prepared for when he is. 

These things don't happen. That is why they are fantasies.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Floggers - Q&A

To answer DelFonte's question - and thanks, by the way, for playing:

Are you still making floggers - any new designs?

YES. I still make floggers. Though I'm not exactly what I'd call a master marketer, folks still contact me now and then to make them an original creation and I pour all my love and creativity into it. A wonderful woman contacted me just before I left for a long trip over the holidays and she was patient enough to wait for me to get back before her lovely thing was delivered to her.

She wanted purple, red, and silver. This is what I delivered:

Inspired and enjoying being surrounded by my ropes and dye again, I then crafted what, to my eye, may be the most beautiful flogger ever to have existed. I have not listed it because of the aforementioned lack of marketing skills, but if anyone's interested in it I'm certainly up for negotiation.

 It's a gorgeous, huge, heavy monster. The purple is a bit deeper/darker than I can make photos show, but you get that with purple and cameras. I'm so proud of it I could burst, but again, not so much for the marketing.

Seriously, DelFonte, thanks so much for the question. It seemed like Q&A was a good way to dive back in.

I'll get to Fiona's questions in my next post, and if anyone has any more questions, feel free to ask!

Wednesday, March 12, 2014


Oh, hi, it looks like it's March again and I'm just going to put myself out there.

Anybody have any questions? Ask 'em right here and I'll actually answer.

You can also email me if you prefer and I'll post the question/answer anonymously.