Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Grafting

My husband and I are that couple.

You know, the ones always lingering near each other, with their hands reaching, their arms around each other, the ones who stop and kiss on the sidewalk for no apparent reason.

Often, when a suggestion is made that involves one of us not being with the other for any extended period of time (like an entire night), we panic, get depressed, then make a solution to fix it. "You go with me," he says, or "We go together."

He was wrapping his arms around me last night and he said that. "We go together."

"Do we?" I asked. "Do we 'go' together, or did we 'grow' together? You know, like the tree that ate the bicycle."

A visual aid for my readers. I know, I'm awesome.


"Maybe a little of both," he said.

"But that's not quite right, is it?" I asked thoughtfully. "Because that's a growing thing that carried a static thing along with it. We're both growing things."

"Mmhmm. Like two trees that fall into each other?" he said, trying not to fall asleep.

I thought about it for a moment, thought over our history, and then it came to me.

I'm a gardener. I would pore over the plant and seed catalogs all winter, dreaming of sunshine and dirt under my fingernails. One thing that I learned was that many fruit trees are not all the same plant. One plant is bred for its roots, and one for its fruit. The fruit of the root plant won't be as nice as the fruit of the fruit plant, and it's likely the roots of the fruit plant wouldn't be as strong or hardy as the roots of the root plant.

The root tree has the top of the fruit tree grafted onto it, and they grow into each other until, if it's done correctly, you'll never know it was two different plants. The original shoots of the root plant are then cut off, and the roots provide nutrients to the top of the new tree, which will be planted in its final destination or shipped off to a nursery.


If you're interested in learning more about the process:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grafting

Before my husband and I were a couple, he was drifting. Aimless, anchorless, like a hot air balloon with no pilot. Nice guy, but he wasn't really headed anywhere. Admittedly, he was quite young.

Before we were a couple, I was casting about for something as well. I wasn't quite sure what was going to happen in my life, I was lonely and didn't see the point in working or being alive. I, too, was quite young.

We came together, and suddenly we were both motivated and things started happening in our lives. From our union came joy, and from that came the confidence to do wonderful things.

I'm the roots - I spread out beneath the surface and nourish us.

He's the flowers and the fruit. He is magnificent - a rock star - brilliant. He shines and has a confidence that has really taken him places - even if a great deal of the time he's just "faking it."

Because we grew together.

Without me, he'd shrivel up and die, and without him, I'd have nothing to live for.

We still have separate facebook profiles, though. Tsk, people.

26 comments:

  1. What beautiful imagery and so well put.

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    1. Thank you - I sat on this one for a while before posting it, but couldn't think of any better ways to flesh it out. :)

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  2. Replies
    1. We try. I told my husband the other day that I needed to start a blog for his (often HILARIOUS) missteps - and he said "Noooo.. I like the husband-worshipping blog. Let's stick with that one."

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  3. Beautiful post. I like the analogy. My favorite line is the last one. :)

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    1. Not sure if you mean the last line, or the footnote. :) Either way, mine too. ;)

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  4. this was lovely. i'm going to look up grafting too. thank you!

    m.

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    1. I'm a plant geek. :) (and many other kinds...) Thanks for coming by!

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  5. Oh man. That was so nice that I can't tease you like I planned to.

    Oh wait! Yes, I can. No... I won't. Lovely post.

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    1. Oh, thank you. :) But now, I just wonder how you had planned to tease me. Huh.

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  6. I love the grafting imagery. People forget what complex organisms plants are, we can learn a lot from them.

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    1. Oh they're really quite amazing; I totally agree. :)

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  7. Oh Conina...That was beautiful. The picture is fabulous, but your description - YOUR words are perfect. You and Husband are a matched set, a Yin to your Yang, a cock to your cunt. =)

    I am so glad that the universe put you two together and put you HERE in blogland for all of us to get to know as well!

    HUGS

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    1. I am delighted that the universe flowed in that direction as well. :) It's interesting where those currents take a person.

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  8. The imagine you described of you two together, and the bike too, was awesome! Makes me feel happy to read about other happy couples. And we are always that couple too, we keep touching each other...

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    1. I love, love, LOVE reading about other happy couples. :) TOO many marriages falling apart, people who don't genuinely like each other, etc - especially in my own life right now.

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  9. I love the idea of "we go/grow together". Daddy has just left four nights and it wasn't possible to accompany him ... it honestly feels like part of me is missing ;)

    ava x

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    1. Ugh, I hate hate hate hate hate being apart from my husband. Only two nights in almost eleven years, but we spent quite enough nights apart before we were married. Assuming your man is back from his trip now, but brilliant you for surviving it.

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  10. This was such a beautifully written and touching post. I love the idea of growing together...and your last line brought tears to my eyes, the joyful ones of understanding and feeling that same love... Thanks for sharing. Hugs, Terpsichore :-)

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    1. Sympatico! :) Love that feeling. Thanks for reading.

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  11. Another wonderful post. And you're right, you are awesome :)

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  12. so sweet...your words are amazing in this post.

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  13. What a wonderfully written posting. And one my pet and I can relate to. We struggle everytime we are apart; both of us filled with feelings of longing and need. We have a 10 day separation coming up. Its going to be hard.

    Like the song goes... everytime you go away, you take a piece of me with you.

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  14. This is beautiful, and I can relate.

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Thank you for reading. I hope you'll let me know you were here - I like friends!