I'm sorry, even writing the title of this post up there made my stomach turn. I dislike language that indicates I know better than someone else. "Should" has no place here unless I am talking about myself, or about given facts - "Dominants should not abuse the trust of their submissives."
I posed it as a question because that's the only way I could even write it there - and the answer, actually, is quite simple. If your husband worships you, adores you, keeps himself clean, and the two of you enjoy being sexual together, then that's step one. If you worship and adore him right back, then you probably will want to give cock worship a try. It might not wind up being your "thing," but you never know unless you give it a shot.
That's stuck in my head and is a thing I remember - long, long after he's forgotten ever saying it himself. It's especially helpful for those moments when I am despairing of being able to save money, but our bills are paid.
Another one of those lines that has stuck with me came from the keyboard of a close friend of mine. We were talking about sex, positions, fantasies, blow jobs. I was a virgin but I was very well-read and oh, so ready to have sex with the man I loved at the time.
My friend said to me: "If you love someone, you love every part of them."
Hello, thunderstruck moment. Hello, duh. Hello, silly silly girl. Of course that was true. She wasn't talking about the "bad-habit-get-you-killed" parts of them, but the actual, physical parts. Fingers, nose, neck, chest, back, toes, legs, pussy, cock. All the parts. Your adoration is meant to shower that person.
Do I believe that married people should worship their husband's cocks? That men have some inalienable right to have their partners go down on them?
No, I don't. Not all husband-wife partnerships manifest in sex at all, and not everyone who is sexual is into the same things.
Do I believe that people in love who DO have sex should worship each other's bodies?
Yes. Yes, I do.
For me, this results in bestowing lots of affection upon my man's cock, because, hell, it makes him feel good. It makes him feel really, really good. He likes kissing, and he likes cocksucking, and he likes being touched, so I kiss him, and I touch him, and I suck his cock. I try to put the love I feel for him in every touch, every stroke, every kiss. I try to communicate my adoration, my gratitude for the gift of his companionship through my life. He's amazing, he takes amazingly good care of me, and I want him to feel that I know it every time I touch him.
Of course, I get a great deal of pleasure from making him feel so good, and my submissive bent means that I thoroughly enjoy being "used" for his pleasure. I love making the people I love happy. Putting a smile on someone's face is an incredible feeling, and even more so when it's the person with whom you're in love. A blissed-out post-orgasmic smile, complete with sighs of fulfilled pleasure, is the most fantastic reward, not to mention the incredible amounts of good will such an act generates - even after all these years. Honestly, after a bit of a learning curve, there's not that much effort involved in creating that reward.
If for one second I thought he was uncomfortable with his cock in my mouth or down my throat, I'd transfer my affections to something he was more comfortable with - something that could bring him more pleasure. It's not about his cock - it's about him.
But since he continues to enjoy my ministrations, I'll continue providing them quite happily, and try every single time to make him feel as good as I am happy to be married to him.
I wrote this post in response to Spanky's June challenge over at CWS.
The CWS Challenge for June is to write a post on the topic "Why you should worship your husband's cock." I hope some of you have thoughts to share about this topic. Maybe someone will read your post and be inspired to finally take the plunge? Or somewhere a hubby will show it to his wife and say "See! This is what I've been trying to tell you."
But - I really, really hope no man tries to get his cock in his partner's mouth by saying things like that.
How am I ever going to come up with an answer better than yours. The comment about loving all of him really struck a chord. I have never been big on blow jobs and yet that is one of his most favorite things in the world. I should take this into consideration...
ReplyDeleteHope you are doing well. Haven't seen you around much.
I know, right? It's one of those obviousisms that isn't as obvious as it seems.
DeleteI've been out of it for a while. Put up at home today with a sprained ankle, which gives me lots of time for blog reading/writing. :) Thanks for noticing/commenting!
Very well written as usual!! I agree that there is a it of a learning curve. And some days, for me, it's easier and I'm not so gaggy. But other days all do is gag and he does everything else.
ReplyDeleteHope your ankle heals soon. :)
Yeah, cock worship doesn't have to end in gagging - it doesn't have to go that far back to make the man feel awesome. :) Some days are definitely easier than others for that sort.
DeleteI don't know about loving all of him. Sometimes you can love someone very much and there are physical parts you don't like.
ReplyDeleteAs for the cock-worshipping, are we talking about the physical act of giving a very love-filled blowjob, or the emotion of feeling worshipful toward his cock? I guess either could lead to the other?
Aha - but "love" isn't "like," is it? You don't have to say "I like this thing" to bestow love upon it because it's attached to your partner.
DeleteAnd I'm going for the first option there, since... I don't feel worshipful toward any random body parts. :)
I like this post for a real variety of reasons. (Warning: ***potential triggers***
ReplyDeleteThe first blowjob I ever gave, I don't remember. I was drunk, and he came really fast and it went all over my clothes, and everyone at the party (yes really) thought it was hilarious. The next one was about a week later, and I remember it too well... same guy, different non- consensual situation. I was sixteen It was years before I could do it without crying.
Flash-forward more years than I admit to. Now, as a (mostly) Dominant woman, I enjoy bestowing the gift of My mouth occasionally, but never to completion! On the rare occasions that I sub to a Patron, I would happily swallow his cock, because that means I have a special relationship built on mutual lust and trust. If Partner wants a blowjob, I am happy to pay Him back for the millions of times he's gone down on Me in all our years together.
(I don't like being 'SHOULD' ON, either...)
Oh, I am so sorry you went through that. I do not understand what is up with parties and sexual humiliation.
DeleteThank you for sharing - experiences like yours are exactly why "should" has no place on my blog.
I like your take on this challenge. I hope women do it for similiar reasons to yours, and because they really like it.
ReplyDeleteThere should be no "should", only a mutual wanting.
I really like it too. I must have been remiss if I didn't get that one across. Oh well. ;)
DeleteRight there with you.
I worship my wife's VG. She loves it and I am glad to provide her with the pleasure she craves.
ReplyDeleteI find it interesting that there are so many posts about CW,but I believe that men should go down on their wives to provide the pleasure they crave.
So many of us are straight or in straight relationships, and most of us are women.
DeleteI am all for vulva-worship too though. :)
OK joey, time to start a VG Worshiping group - as Spanky started CWSubs. I don't think there are very many of us who don't enjoy the same in return from our partners in crime!!
DeleteI'm glad I wondered in. I would love to have my cock worshiped. But only if that was want she wanted. There's nothing like waking up to watching your cock balloon inside your spouse mouth. But I was the first to start it. I would wake her up to slow wet licks. Then she started giving me pay back. She has learned to enjoy making me moan and sake.. At first a blow job was just something she gave her man for his enjoyment. Now it's for both our pleasures. Like you said, you should love the whole body, just like you love the whole mind...
ReplyDeletepeace and love
1ManView
Yeah - I started that way too - did it because he liked it. But he liked it enough that I started liking it because he liked it so much.... :)
DeleteI'm glad you wandered in too, thanks for participating!
Exellent post, as usual.
ReplyDeleteI realize now the wording of my challenge was very poor, and the word "should" had no business being in there. What I intended was more along the lines of "why you might want to consider it if you aren't doing it, as you might be missing something" and absolutely not "why you should do it whether you like it or not" which is absolutely the last thing I believe.
The last few sentences in the challenge ("maybe ..." and onward) were a complete brain fart afterthought and should not have been added on, particularly the last one! I really should think twice about editing posts after they're already posted.
Thanks for this post!
Spanky, I had concluded one of two things - either
Delete1) it was a linguistic mishap on your part because you were terribly excited to issue another challenge, orrrrr
2) your ideals and mine clashed quite badly and you were probably going to remove me from your blogroll for this post. :)
It is something I love doing for Daddy because it brings him pleasure. He does so much for me and it seems a small (I understand that others would consider it big) way for me to show my appreciation and love for him. I must admit that it is something I truly love to do too ;)
ReplyDeletehugs
bg
I think maybe learning is the biggest part - just finding what spots are the best and how he likes it best - after that it really is a minimum of effort for a maximum of return.
DeleteAnd me too. :)
Stands up and applauds.
ReplyDeleteI love it.
And to joey - you are very right about the flip side. In fact, it is the apparent joy H takes in going down on me that makes me want so very badly to return the favor.
Thanks. :) I was pretty happy with it (and the comments!) too.
DeleteConina,
ReplyDeleteYou are diligent in your reading and looking for true and literal meaning. Thank you for keeping all of us honest and calling bull shit when needed. You thought through your post very well and I appreciate your point of view!!
thanks and HUGS
Haha, I dunno if I'm calling bull shit but I know when something makes me feel uncomfortable. :)
Delete