Sunday, March 16, 2014

Why I don't like kissing

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "haha, this is one of those clickbait titles, isn't it? This is going to be one of those essays where the writer explains that she doesn't like kissing, she loves kissing."

If that's what you're thinking, you're wrong.

Kissing, as it is, does nothing for me. What the hell? It's two sets of lips shaking hands.

My husband does like kissing. "It feels nice. It feels intimate," he says.

I do like kisses - giving and receiving - little drops of affection against skin. But lips-to-lips? Meh, says I. But I think I figured out why. It's too much of an egalitarian activity. We press our lips together and we move them - and our tongues - in certain ways. It's just a thing people do.

However. If there is force involved, or once I am turned on enough, it's all a different thing. It becomes exciting. His hand on my throat/jaw, forcing my face to stay where it is while his mouth claims mine? Oh, fuck. Even better, one hand on the back of my head while the other is on my throat. Fuck, yes. That's a kissing-related activity I can get into.

And then, with extreme arousal, comes extreme behavior. I hadn't experienced this in so long I'd almost forgotten, but I did just last night and what a revelation that is. There is a point of arousal when I just need him inside me, any bit of him, anywhere. If all I can do is kiss him and suck his lip into my mouth, then that is what I will do. I will attempt to devour him with every available part that can do so.

I'm indifferent to kissing, but I love being kissed.

And apparently when I am aroused enough by the being kissed, all my previously established kissing behavior is just out the bloody window.

Strange beasts, humans.



It's still March, y'all! Any questions? Ask and be answered!

15 comments:

  1. Totally loved the voice in this! I am a certain-mood kissing female myself.

    ReplyDelete
  2. First kisses. And kisses that whisper (scream) reminders of first kisses. Those are the kisses I like. The rest? Well, they seem rather perfunctory.
    (As an aside, I think that my first kiss with H got us through any misunderstandings we had for at least five years. It was that good. And it was a year before we started dating. Hee.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was some first kiss.

      Our first kiss... was equally memorable, but not in a good way. It was HIS first kiss though, so it stands to reason it wouldn't be a good kiss. Anyway, yeah, being reminded of it wouldn't be BAD because it's a charming sort of memory, but not via an actual kiss.

      Delete
  3. Yeah, I can't say I'm a big fan of kissing either. It was great when I was a teenager, with whichever boy I had a crush on at the time. The first time Master kissed me was quite spectacular, but that was kind of a hair grab attack kiss, which I'd never experienced before, and since I wanted him real bad, I enjoyed it. But the kissing faded away with time. Whatever. It was fun while it lasted, but not an important aspect to the relationship. I don't know if it's just me, but once one is getting old, and some teeth go away, and you're dealing with partial dentures, and such, I'm just glad I can give a blowjob with my fake teeth in. lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My husband is missing a tooth but I don't particularly notice when we're kissing. I suppose it matters more if more are gone? (I am also missing a tooth for all intents and purposes, but there is a crown there that subs for it)

      It's interesting to me to see the responses on this - how many folks are of a similar mind. I talk to my friends and relatives (older relatives, but still) about dating and men (they're dating, I'm not) and it seems like for them, kissing is the THING. One 50-year-old woman won't continue seeing a man if their first kiss sucks.

      Delete
    2. My mom and her new husband are almost 80 and she still loves kissing, and she has no real teeth left. I don't even think she/he cares if she puts her dentures in. lol.

      Delete
  4. Questions....
    What is one (or 2) of your favorite posts you have written? Why?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, thank you. :) I'll get on that.

      Delete
  5. My gosh kissing is amazing especially the hand on the throat type of kissing ;) ava x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It takes all kinds, but I can definitely agree about the hand on throat thing. :)

      Delete
  6. can i say me too? BIKSS loves kissing tho. I need to be cajoled. just regular kissing is a bit meh. maybe cos i'm worrying too much about whose tongue is where and not knocking teeth etc. but once the grabbing / gripping / manhandling starts, all i can do is think about wanting more and more of him. And if my mouth is at where his mouth is, then by golly i'm gonna get me some kisses!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love it. It's like it's too much effort unless we're actually already there.

      So many women I know go kissing, fondling, fucking, in that order, but for me it's more that I need a sort of continuous mishmash. Like, when talking to women and they talk about "I let it go further than it should have," I'm not quite sure wtf they're talking about. I think they mean a hand in the clothes sort of deal, but to me a hand on my flesh is like a prerequisite to even wanting to kiss in the first place.

      I like the "if my mouth is at where his mouth is," because that's about how it works. Sometimes it's his hand that's where my mouth is, and that will go in my mouth as well, as far as I can get it. There may be biting.

      Delete
  7. I love kissing, LOVE it. In fact, i get a bit sad when we don't snog (that is, french kiss with tongues and all) for a bit - sometimes it fades away a bit if we're tired and busy, or sometimes he gets mouth ulcers, and sometimes I get cold sores..

    There's all sorts of other kissing though, and not just on the lips and it's all good.. There's something special about snogging though. Especially with him, he likes it and is good at it. I don't have any particular order though - fucking first and then kissing is pretty darn good too!

    Oh, we're both missing teeth, him a fair few. Doesn't make a difference.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think perhaps I need to think less to enjoy kissing. My brain has to be turned off enough (or is that on enough? darn this terminology) to not think about how silly it is or be worrying about what I'm doing, what he's doing, etc.

      I get cold sores quite often too, and so it fades with us as well. That doesn't help matters really, because getting back to it is more of a "oh, right."

      Delete

Thank you for reading. I hope you'll let me know you were here - I like friends!