Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated: Q&A

Q1. Where have you been? Why did you stop blogging and commenting and answering comments?

There's no one easy pat answer to this, and for the record I don't actually consider myself to have "stopped" blogging. I just haven't had anything to blog about. Once in a while a thought would tickle my brain and I'd think "that would be an amazing blog post," but then the pervasive tendrils of apathy that depression sinks into a person's soul would remind me that there really was no point. 

I'm teaching my child at home, too, and the amount of time I have for something as concerted and focused as blogging and maintaining the (very valued) relationships that blogging has brought to me has dropped to nearly nil. I am currently seeking to resolve this, but having a new reader come up next to you every few minutes to ask a question puts a damper on reading blogs. My blog itself has always been light on graphic images for the very reason that I have small eyes that could see them at any time. Now those small eyes also read words. It's just another dynamic that I have to think of when settling down to write.

As to other people's blogs - well, the same thing sort of applies. There tend to be graphic images willy-nilly, and while I actually have no problem with my little one seeing nudity, I do have a problem with nudity itself being sexualized for him so early. I do read certain blogs still that I've found are a sort of "safe" zone - yours, fiona, The Pervocracy, the dirty normal, t1klish's. But none of those blogs need my input. 

I occasionally peek over at other people's too when I can, and I will comment when I feel I have something to add or some helpful bit of advice.

The other part is, as alluded to above, an intense depression that has taken me over for the better part of this year. Our sex life dwindled away (causing the depression rather than caused by it), and even when we would have sex I wouldn't orgasm. I couldn't honestly tell you if I've had more orgasms this year than I have fingers. 

Add all that in with a 3-week-long visit from in-laws, and... well, a sex and relationship blog has to have something to keep it going, doesn't it? I try my best not to write about issues I'm having until they're resolved. It seems unfair to the relationship and my husband to air our issues while they're ongoing.

Q2. What is an amazingly sexy moment that you and your husband have had since you stopped regularly blogging?

Yeah, about that. Sex has been painful for me lately. After sex I would ache inside for a few days. I think it just hasn't been frequent enough for my body to adjust to the sort of sex we were having. I recently told him about this and he was dismayed.

It is getting better. We had amazing sex just earlier this week that has only caused a little bit of aching for me. That would have to be my top moment then, when he told me he could be gentle enough but he needed "some of that," when referring to his finger's gently probing me and finding me very very ready.

I told him I was afraid, and he said "You should be. Didn't you learn from last time? Maybe you should stop me."

I love it when he says stuff blaming me for something he's doing. It really works me up. 

Q3. What is your favorite decadent treat (food not fantasy ��). 

Hm. I make these killer reverse chocolate white chocolate chip cookies with dark cocoa, vanilla bean powder,  and vegan white chocolate chips (the veganness makes all the difference, regular dairy-laden white chocolate made my mouth unhappy even before I was vegan). 

I've been baking homemade bread every day too though, and a slice of that with margarine and strawberry jam may just be my absolute favorite. 

Q4. What is your current goto fantasy to cum?

So... yeah. I haven't been fantasizing. I've been mired in the pit of my own despair for way way too long. Also I find it frustrating to fantasize when there's no partnered sex forthcoming, although I have been known to fantasize during partnered sex. . . but there's not been much of that either. My fantasies of late have been more of the "wink out of existence" variety than the "have an orgasm" variety. 

But if we want to stretch "current" back to last year sometime, then my regular, sure-fire ones tended to involve restraint and triple penetration with lots and lots of talking and being upbraided for..whatever. Generally something I have no control over, like the weather or something he's done himself. 

My triple penetration fantasies go something like this: Dildo, gag, anal plug, spanking, having each object removed for a cock to take its place, then replaced when the cock is ready to move on to the next opening. Just being full constantly, and talked to. 

Or another one is the one where he tells me what to do when he's not here, to be prepared for when he is. 

These things don't happen. That is why they are fantasies.