And now for something... a little different.
We were playing around online, my husband and I, and this ...male creature came along and started hitting on me. Straight up, obviously hitting on me, with no reason other than that I was presenting as female at that time. No invitation on my part, nothing. To be fair, he was hitting on everyone presenting as female.
My husband is amazing and hilarious and perfect, and turned it all into a good time for me. "Wife! Bad wife! Are you being a person again and not a random male sex object?" he said to me, in full view of everyone.
Later, we'd gone to bed and were talking about it. "'Conina I want you to love me too,'" I giggled as I settled, naked, into my husband's embrace. "Who does he think he is anyway? You can't just go around treating people like objects."
"Well," said my husband, his voice deepening a bit as one hand spread over my scalp, tightening in my hair, "only specific people, right?" He rubbed the soft growth of his beard over the place where my neck meets my shoulder.
I purred, shivering with delight as his other hand drew me close to him, his leg completing my entrapment as it captured my legs. I wriggled back into him. "Mmhmm. Only specific people who've agreed to such things," I confirmed.
"My fuck toy," he whispered, pulling my face toward him as he tugged on my hair. His lips met mine and the universe exploded in sensation. His lips, soft and warm, his beard, coarse and springy, the soft noises he made in his throat filling my ears as surely as if they were bomb blasts. Everything was magnified.
His hand covered my throat, holding my head where he wanted it from both sides as we kissed. I whimpered. I love the sensation of having no escape from him. I felt his cock grow hard against my arm where it was trapped between us, and moved my hand to stroke him through his boxers. He felt absolutely enormous. "Oh my God," I whispered against his lips, my eyes momentarily going wide.
"What?" he laughed before continuing to kiss me.
"Oh my God, husband," I said again, my fingers seeking to encircle the massive shaft of his erection and squeeze.
"I don't think it's changed, pretty girl. Maybe it's just been too long since you touched it last." He pressed himself hard into my hand.
"Oh my God, husband," I repeated, and then, "that's quite the monster you have in your pants."
His reply sent butterflies chasing in my stomach and tingles all over my body. He tightened his grip on the back of my head, on my throat. "This is quite the wonderful girl I have in my hands," he growled, his lips again claiming mine, keeping me from further words. But I melted. Ohhh I melted. The noises I made after that were confined to my throat.
How is it that the man I've agreed can treat me like a sex object makes me feel so much more like a person than people with whom I have no such agreement?
What's your experience with dehumanizing behavior from random web denizens?
mmm, love the relationship you two have. My husband and I often chuckle at how I am perceived as a female gamer, and how flirting is ridiculously fun to play with
ReplyDeleteIt can be fun, but sometimes the person (I dare to ID them as people) on the other side of the interaction can get his panties in a wad. Meh.
DeleteI agree with you. It's funny there's a fella who's moved back to my city and rang me to catch up. He's "trying" to ask me out we reckon, but not doing a good job of it. All his lines sound like he's only interested in getting into my pants. The sexual overtones are a little worrying.
ReplyDeleteThen there's BIKSS whom I've made stand for "Bloke I'm kinkily, sexually serving" cos he's not in the "kinda sorta seeing" category anymore. But he has NEVER made me feel like "only a sex object" even tho I've pledged myself to be that for him.
Perhaps the difference is our willingness to be a sex toy to them :)
I really don't understand this whole "it's okay to be an ass to a woman you want to have sex with" thing. It seems counter-intuitive.
DeleteI think the very worst I've ever experienced was some knobish bloke on Fet sending me a private message simply saying '4 nice pics sub', like I was immediately going to drop to my knees and offer to worship him *sigh*
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm submissive, I'm also a person, a human, someone with whom to interact as you would anyone else. Needless to say this dick was blocked!
Flip x
OMG! Sometimes it is SO MUCH WORSE when you're openly kinky. Like "OH THIS MUST MEAN SHE'S INTO ALL THE PEEPS." Sad face.
DeleteI have to keep telling Master that I only want to do these things with HIM, since HE thinks I'm into all the peeps because I'm adventurous sexually with HIM. So yes, it's weird that people can interpret adventurousness within one relationship to mean you would want to do other people. No! That's silly. It makes no sense to think that if you like kissing, rubbing, and intercourse, you're monogamous, but if you like kissing, rubbing, intercourse, anal, and hair pulling, you will want to do every Tom, Dick, or Harry you meet.
Deleteooooh what a great topic!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely adore being a sex object for my husband, I adore being objectified sexually by him, but - and here's the big but - it's because he sees me. He SEES me, as a person and truly sees ME,as opposed to anyone else. Because of this he sees and accepts and honours and indulges the part/piece/mood of me that loves being an object.
And I see him truly also, and trust him (superstitiously scared to type this) more than i've trusted anyone, ever. Which has allowed me be all parts of myself and explore myself in all directions, including those ones it's normally taboo or unsafe to acknowledge.
Just being a sexual object simply because I'm some available warm body? Uh, no.
I guess it boils down to me being a special little snowflake...
Ohhh you put it right out there. Exactly. He sees me, and if we want to indulge in a little objectification between us, that's perfectly okay.
DeleteWhat's NOT OKAY is for some random jerk to make me feel objectified. (especially in a normally safe space where this doesn't happen much)
I don't think it boils down to "special little snowflake," though. I think it more boils down to "We're both human beings first, dumbass."
yeah, like 'just because I enjoy climbing huge challenging mountains does not mean I automatically want to run up your laundry pile'
DeleteBack when computers were new, I would play a lot of cribbage on line at Yahoo or wherever and I had a lot of fun. Then life swept me up for a while and I didn't play for years. One night I went back in to play and started a game and someone would sweep into the table and say a/s/l? (age/sex/location) No hi. No playing, just that. If I answered, I said 75/F/DC and they would leave right away. If I didn't answer, they would leave right away. This happened over and over. I never could get a game going after that. :(
ReplyDelete(Oh, and what Mamacrow said.)
OHhhh that. THAT. That makes me rageface. One of my first experiences on IRC was a man (who barely spoke English) practically cyber-raping me because I responded to him. Thankfully his lack of grasp of the language led me more to amusement than horror. "I put cream."
DeleteNo thanks.
Yes, back when I first got online that a/s/l thing happened a lot when I was in chat rooms talking with internet friends who had become real life friends. This was before instant messaging really took over, so chat rooms were the only place you could go to talk in real time online. Guys would enter the room and immediately start with the a/s/l thing. I had no idea what they were talking about. Lol.
DeleteMy goal is to objectify only those who desire objectification. In my Ella's case, she is my property, and knows it. But she is my human property. People treating her like a mere object must answer to her master.
ReplyDeleteSomehow people tend to suck at basic human decency a lot.
DeleteTaking the time to read through a good part of your blogging history here has been so....therapeutic. I am NOT alone, who knew. I am submissive and serve only my husband. Thank you for having the courage to share all you do! I have been thinking about releasing my journaling into a blog at some point- ahhh how to stay anonymous?? Any tips??
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea how beautiful this comment is to me right now, Pearl. Thank you. I am in the process of composing a letter to you now.
DeleteOther than back in the chat room days as I mentioned in a comment above, I really don't find myself in situations where men are hitting on me often, which is a good thing. I'm definitely a one man woman, and I only want Master. So I don't have a problem with other men objectifying me, but I do have a bit of a problem with Master thinking that because I'm this way with him, that I would be okay with being this way with other men. He thinks, or at least used to think, that because I'm in this, for lack of a better word, non-traditional, relationship with him, that I'm a bad girl. It's not easy to get him to believe that he is a very special and unique circumstance for me, and that I wouldn't be doing this with anyone else.
ReplyDelete"Men are people, women are women." Yeah, I don't know what to do about these attitudes, except rail against them in blog posts like this one. Good on you for holding to your personal rule system, though.
Delete