Monday, May 21, 2012

Multiple orgasms: the extra lives of sex

I've previously discussed how I enjoyed Star Trek and the X-men and various other geeky forms of entertainment, so it shouldn't be a surprise when I reveal that I spent a lot of my childhood and youth playing video games. A large chunk of the time I spent playing games, I spent playing Super Mario Bros. 3 on the NES.

You mean you don't think of orgasms when you see this? Huh.

The game was huge. It took hours and hours and hours to play it all the way through, although you could warp to the end and be done fairly quickly, I didn't figure there was a lot of value in that.  Since the game didn't have a feature to save, I wound up replaying the first levels a lot to get to the later ones, though sometimes I would warp, it wasn't often.

I became an expert at this game. Every secret, I knew. Every invisible block, every vine, every warp zone, every chance to gather 99 lives, every place to slide behind the scenery, every matching game pattern, and every place where it was a good idea to use a special item. I knew this game, inside and out, backward and forward. I played it so much that it is burned into my brain. Even now, twenty years later, I can play it and do things just like I did then, even though occasionally I'm not sure why I'm doing it. Physical memory is a bizarre thing.

The first opportunity you have in this game to collect 99 lives is in the second level, right at the beginning, so I did it there every single time I played, even if it was a quick run-through just for fast laughs. Later, when my husband would play the game in 2005 or so, I would always get those lives for him. He's not as good at games as I am, so he needed the help.

The process could be kind of frustrating, as you had to have a raccoon suit, and you had to wave Mario's raccoon tail around in the air while you landed on endless Goombas as they popped out of a pipe, using the boost jumping on them gave you to stay in the air so that you didn't ever touch the ground.

Here's a video of it that explains more than I can in words. Your points for jumping on each one doubles until you get to 8000, and every Goomba you stomp after that without touching the ground is an extra life.

It occurred to me after my post yesterday that my own multiple orgasms are like that. The tension slowly gathers as we approach the first one, and as long as his timing is perfect and he lands exactly right, he can keep pumping them out of me.

Like this! (read 'orgasm' for 1UP) Yeah, now we're talking.

Of course, the timing has to be absolutely perfect. Even I would occasionally go a little too fast in the game, and run out of Goombas to stomp before I hit the ground. So frustrating, because to get more lives, I'd have to start all over again, back from 100. Seven Goombas before I was back in The Zone, and my timer was ticking the whole time.

If it goes too long before the next orgasm, he may not be starting completely over, but it's pretty close. Once I've fallen off that delicate knife-edge of arousal, he has to get me there again in order to coax more orgasms out of me. 

And in both situations, your thumb gets really really tired.

The extra-life zone is an amazing place to be, as you watch your life-counter just go up and up and up. It may be frustrating when you fall off, but it's so worth it to get back up there again. The quality and pleasure of your entire game rests on those lives, really, whether you panic at losing everything or whether it's just all good fun, later.

He must feel like that as he watches me writhe and scream and pant, as his orgasm counter just goes up and up... and breaks, because I can't count orgasms after so many. The quality of the rest of his life, while not dependent on those orgasms, is probably greatly enhanced by them.

I know mine is.


  1. I am a big fan of Star Trek and X-Men. Plus, I play video games. But, my goal in life is to provide my wife with multiple orgasms whenever I can.


    1. Just use the Mario method! (yeah.. it needs work) :)

      That is a wonderful goal to have.

  2. LOL. This is the best analogy about multiple orgasms ever.

  3. Ok, never thought of multiple orgasms that way before, lol. For me though it has nothing to do with timing. Once I've started I just keep on going, kinda like the energizer bunny, lol. I've actually thought about doing a post on it, but it is so normal for me I'm not sure what I would say about it.

    1. I figure orgasms are probably a very unique experience for each person. It's actually quite difficult for me to get there in the first place, and then not to fight him off once I'm so sensitive...

      I suppose it's a lot of learning to relax for me, really.

      I'm sure your perspective on it could be very enlightening!

  4. What a fun post to come home to... I loved that game too, and I think there is something to tie the physical memory comment into the orgasm count as well. Just not thinking clearly enough to make the connection, but I feel another analogy coming on.

    1. It was a lot of fun to write, too. Glad you enjoyed.

      I can kind of almost see what you mean... it's just out of my grasp.

    2. Yeah, I keep looking at it, but I have no idea what I mean. I just know when I read it that I thought that was the part that was going to be brilliant.

      Not that you aren't brilliant, but I thought that was the part... so something must be there. Hmmm, something to ponder... my favorite!

  5. I had to laugh when I read this, Conina. Don't you just know that there's one of those hentai games out there where you do exactly this...hit the timing exactly right to keep your virtual "girlfriend" having orgasms one right after the other?

    I love video games, but this is one area where reality definitely trumps the virtual world!

    1., I didn't know that. (how would I know that? thanks for the info!) But I think the Mario analogy holds better, because it requires you to press that button constantly to stay in the air longer.

      I laughed a lot while I was writing it too. :) Orgasms definitely beat 1UPs, I'm right there with you on that!


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