Monday, March 12, 2012

Out of place

Sometimes I feel out of place, blogging from a place of practically no angst and from within my happy marriage, which is not a complicated relationship at all - just a joyous one.

We're on a fantastic adventure together, but the journey is not just these things we do, it's life. It's full of wonderful things that are not sex - snuggling, long talks, walks around the city holding each other's hand, road trips, watching Doctor Who, playing with and teaching our boy. I can't blog about all of that here, because the sex part is so "scandalous" I can't be identified. As if it even matters what consenting adults do in privacy. It shouldn't, but sadly that's not the world we live in right now.

I read a lot of truly amazing blogs, with deep thoughts reflecting on D/s, on relationships, sex, power, politics, consent, abuse, and love.

I feel a bit like a castoff sock sometimes, growing moldy in the corner as I relate the magnificent sex I had, yet again.

But that's why I started the blog, really. I didn't truly have any issues to sort out - though I have sorted a few minor ones, and had my own share of epiphanies. I started the blog to give me a reason to regularly write about the sex I was having. It's incredibly important to me to get the narratives out there - this is hot to someone.

I told my husband that I regularly feel intellectually dwarfed by the people whose blogs I follow. He raised his brow and said "You?" as if he found that difficult to believe.

Yeah, me.

So if I'm reading your blog, and I don't comment, it's often not because what you had to say wasn't comment-worthy. It's because what you wrote is good enough I feel any comment I could make would just be along the lines of "Hey duuhhhhhh I like it, derp," and you get enough comments already that are more thoughtful that I don't even want to waste your time.

29 comments:

  1. 1 vote for what your husband said in response. Just saying.

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    1. Thanks for the vote of confidence. :)

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  2. Conina - I enjoy your blog. It gives me hope that there ARE loving happily married (or committed) D/s couples :)

    Please keep blogging. Sharing your stories of great sexcapades with your hubby and whatever else you want to blog about.

    As for you feeling intellectually dwarfed...I don't think so!! I feel that way so many times which is why I don't always comment.

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    1. I never intended to stop, never fear. :) I just felt the need to explain why I withdraw and read silently so often. The flood of insightful comments many people get leaves me breathless. I'm not a fan of crowds, or saying what's already been said.

      I really appreciate your take on this, though. It only occurred to me after I posted it that other people may feel the same way - and what's to come of everyone clamming up? Not much at all, huh?

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  3. I *LOVE* the comments you leave on my blog!! I love to hear people's thoughts on what I write....please don't ever feel any comment you left would be unappreciated

    B xx

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    1. Glad to hear it - and ditto for you!

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    1. That actually means a lot to me. :)

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  5. PS - I hardly ever have drama either, unless I make it. Our relationship is good, even great. But we are trying to figure out the M/s which is new, so I appreciate when you so easily summarize my questions. So, don't feel out of place... I like you here, but of course, I am new, so what do I know?

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    1. Great relationships - the reason we keep going, huh?

      You're new, I'm new, we're all new 'round these parts. :) "New" doesn't mean a whole lot, except in a good way. Fresh blood keeps the world a turnin'! So many people start up a blog, write for a few months, and then just drop out of existence...

      Personally I'm delighted to have you around.

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    2. Thanks! I've started thinking of you as my one blog friend, so I was worried when I saw this. Not that you can't share non-sex personal stuff - you can, but that you might think you can leave...

      I know, I know, paranoid much?

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    3. I would never stop blogging, not permanently, anyway.

      "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave," huh? ;)

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  6. Is it ok if I tell you that you're being silly? I don't really feel like we know each other well enough, but damn, you're being silly.

    I love this blog! So much! I love that you post happy sex stories almost every day. Not just because they are DAMN hot (which they are) but because it is SO NICE to read a blog by a smart woman in a happy, loving relationship. The fact that you're sexually submissive is just the icing.

    I have a sneaking suspicion that *some* people who are into BDSM are also into dramatic relationships. Nothing wrong with that, necessarily, but I personally find drama stressful and like the low-drama relationships myself. And so it's great to read about yours.

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    1. It's okay if you tell me I'm being silly. :) I worried over even posting this, because it seems like I'm begging for attention - "Tell me I'm good enough!" - but that's not really what it was about, and so I forged onward.

      I read your comment just as I woke up, and it gave me smiles and that warm fuzzy feeling you get from good companionship. So, thanks. I've got more happy sex posts coming, and a rant or two. ;)

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  7. I love finding blogs of other happily married couples who happen to have this private wild side. Thank you for commenting on my blog, leading me to yours! :)

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    1. My pleasure! I love finding good new blogs, like yours, too. :)

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  8. If you didn't blog about your hot sex life where would I get inspiration from?

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    1. Isn't it nice that we can gain inspiration from actual sex acts that other people have done?

      I mean, not just porn actors.

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  9. So, your wild sex, my random musings, muttering, and occasional DRAMA with little to no well described sexy time fun, combined make almost a whole subbie blog, right? :P

    If nothing else, it's nice to be able to read the happy marriage subtext, gives me hope that eventually we'll settle down somewhere happy-medium like in our life :)

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    1. Happy-high is a far, far better place to settle than happy-medium. :)

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  10. Your, "Hey, duhhhhh," reminds me of how not too long ago I still had dial-up, and I would be at a discussion board where you had to click on each comment individually to read them, and I'd click, and wait and wait and wait, maybe two or three minutes just for the post to open, and I'd find an "ITA!!!"

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    1. I remember things like that too, believe it or not.. although it was a bit longer ago for me.

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  11. For what it's worth, the only comments I ever had that I thought were a waste of my time were spam lol.

    And I have always enjoyed your comments.

    You write well, your stories are hot, and your marriage is happy. Nothing wrong with sharing that!

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement, lil. :)

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  12. P.S the last comment you left on my blog was two words long. And it was by far one of the very best.

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    1. Has it been that long since I commented on your blog? Must rectify. I appreciate the sentiment though. :)

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  13. I told my husband that I regularly feel intellectually dwarfed by the people whose blogs I follow. He raised his brow and said "You?" as if he found that difficult to believe.

    78% of the people whose blogs you feel that way about? Feel the same way about other people's blogs. The other 22%?

    Are assholes! :)

    My husband once said to me, "Everybody compares their insides to everybody else's outsides," that is, everybody else projects this glossy surface (or tries to) and what we experience of ourself is this tangled, unfinished mess, right?

    Just so you know? We see your glossy outside. Also? Our insides are also a tangled unfinished mess.

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    1. I'd love to know where you came up with those numbers. ;)

      Thanks so much, Lily, I appreciate it a lot. Your husband's pretty clever too.

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