Asking for more: spanko edition

After my previous post, a commenter posed this wonderful question, and I thought it deserved more attention than I could really give it in the comments section:

I'm interested to know how you approached your husband to do more than just spank my bum? I'd love if DH would slap/spank other areas, but I'm afraid to mention it to him.

I remember, once I got him to start spanking me and he'd been doing it for some time, fervently wishing for blows to something besides my bottom. Specifically, my breasts, and at times, my inner thighs, my pussy, and often, the backs of my thighs.

Mostly my breasts.

But, since my husband started out vanilla, I was really worried about asking him to hit my sensitive parts, the parts he normally stroked gently, kissed tenderly, and generally caused to feel really nice by being nice to them. I didn't want him to think I was an even bigger freak. He was very aware of my generally submissive sexuality, but the thought of actually punishing parts of me that so enjoyed being treasured never even occurred to him.

It became clear, over time, that if I wanted this I'd have to do something. Probably ask for it.

No big deal, right? He already knew I was submissive, that I enjoyed bondage, that I liked being spanked, being "forced" to perform sexually, and on, and on.

Wrong. It was a big freaking deal to me. I don't know why. Just, somehow, coming out and randomly saying "please spank my breasts!" seemed completely unthinkable, undoable. The idea made my breath catch in my throat, I'd choke on my own words.

So, he'd spank me in the normal way, and we'd move on to more intimate moments. He'd have his hand on my breast, stroking gently, groping, or squeezing, and I'd arch toward his hand and plead, "Hit me, please hit me."

My poor husband. He would comply. He'd move his hand from my breast and strike my ass.

Not quite what I was going for.

I believe I tried it like that for some months, always with the same result. I wasn't trying every night, just when circumstances combined to make it seem natural. It just wouldn't register to him that hitting a woman's breast was a thing you could do, no matter how tempting a target I would try to make for him.

I realized I'd have to ramp up my game a bit.

So, finally, we were spooned together, he was kissing my neck, squeezing my breast, tugging gently on my nipple. I was running my fingertips over the back of his hand, over his arm, as I often do. I stopped my hand over his, lifted his hand to my mouth and kissed it passionately, tenderly, then replaced it on my breast. I squeezed his hand down over my breast, hard enough to hurt (because I like that), and arched my back, pressing my flesh even more into his hand. "Hit me, here, please," I begged, my voice soft. I pressed his hand down against me a little more before slowly lifting my hand away from his.

"Hit you here?" he asked, massaging me gently.

"Yes, please."

"But you're sensitive there." He tugged on my nipple to prove his point, and I moaned softly.

"I know."

"If you say so," he said, and he hit me.

It was good.

---

He has never taken my requests for being struck in one area as carte blanche to strike me in any other, which is actually excellent, even though the asking part feels awkward. So, after the success of the request for the breast spanking, and he didn't seem to think I was any more a freak than he already did, I eventually figured that I could ask for other things in much the same way, without having to have a "talk."

So my inner thighs were the next thing... though that didn't happen in any real heat of a moment, I just pressed his hand to my inner thigh one day when he was rubbing me there idly and said "I'd really like it if you'd hit me here sometime."

Again I got the "But you're really sensitive there."

Again he got the "I know."

He didn't hit me that day.. but he did remember, and eventually it became something that would happen when he felt like it.

Somehow, having the conversation when you don't have to name the parts you'd like to be hit makes it so much easier. He was just beginning to rub my pussy the day I asked for him to hit me there. He was very, very unsure about that one. He will still only hit me once or twice there - but life's a journey, and we're making lots of progress and enjoying ourselves a whole lot too.