I am not a prude, I've experienced some (threesomes, fisting, casual sex, insert activity here)What does this mean? Does this mean people who haven't done that activity are prudes? What's the definition of a prude, firstly, because I'm curious?
Dictionary.com says:
prude
Now I'm picturing someone having a cuppa with their sex, pinky out, asking in a calm, sort of uppity voice, "Please sir, may I have another orgasm?" *sip sip*
— n a person who affects or shows an excessively modest, prim, or proper attitude, esp regarding sex
Prude does not mean "person who won't have a threesome," "person who doesn't want my fist inside them," or even, "person who doesn't want to have anal stimulation of any kind." Having preferences and limits about what you want sexually does not make you a prude. From the definition here, even knowing about those things in order to decide you don't want them makes you not a prude.
Perhaps we can even go so far as to make the logical leap that so much as writing a sex blog makes you automatically, by default, not a prude. Writing a sex blog does not mean that you are magically up for spinning the sex roulette to pick your sexual activity and number of partners. It just means you probably like sex a lot, and want to talk about it.
Which means you're not a prude.
Didn't you see my mother's pic next to that definition? LOL.
ReplyDeleteI never for a moment thought I was one, maybe I'm not really her daughter, Haahaahaa.
Nah, my grandmother's pic was there.
DeleteNow I have an idea for another post, thanks! ;)
Personally I find the word prude offensive just as I do the term vanilla. Why the labels to begin with? I do not consider people prudish, it is not my place to decide. I know that within the kink community I am considered prudish, yes I have been called that and in return I say, "to each his/her own".
ReplyDeleteSex is personal and individual. We do what makes us happy and not what society thinks should make us happy!
~a
"Prude" offends me in a way "vanilla" never will - but yeah, that was kind of the point of my post. I really cannot grasp the need for tossing of the word "prude" around - it would never occur to me to call someone a prude!
DeleteYou're absolutely right.
When I was 12 I was called prude for not being willing to "go all the way." When I was 12. In the 70's. This is what boys said to try to coerce us girls into having sex.
ReplyDeleteCalling someone a prude because they don't want to have sex with multiple partners or participate in violent or dangerous sexual activity is utterly ridiculous, and dangerous. What of all those teenage girls who will feel not only obligated to "go all the way" to not be called a prude, but now they are also being coerced into homosexual activity when they are straight, multiple partners whether they want it or not, and lest we not forget, letting guys hit them and strangle them because it's the "in" thing to do.
I feel so bad for kids these days. Between this and all the other garbage that's come along the last 10 years or so.
12? Wow. When I was 12 I.. didn't go anywhere near boys. But I read about men. :)
DeleteI'm not sure letting guys hit and strangle you will ever be "in," although if you move in certain circles I'm sure it might seem that way.
Awesome comment though, and you're very right.
Great post! I especially like the comment of t1klish, too. It's amazing how much like sheep young people are. Girls and boys today need to be taught that they don't need to engage in activities that they are NOT ready for or not interested in.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Kitty
That's definitely what I'm going to be teaching my little one. Sex is fraught enough with insecurities without adding a bunch of external stuff like whether or not someone else thinks you're a 'prude.'
DeleteSadly, it seems that whatever men see in porn, that's what they suddenly want, expect, and think is "in", and that they're somehow missing out on all the fun because their woman doesn't do those things.
ReplyDeleteBack in the 80's and early 90's no porn women "squirted", and I'd never heard of such a thing, and men didn't expect it. Now it's in porn, so now they do, along with shaved parts, and women licking their friends.
My sister has a friend whose husband recently started watching porn, and suddenly he was strangling her in bed. She's now afraid of him.
t1klish,
ReplyDeleteYou may be right about your comment regarding porn and "squirting"...I really don't know. I have never watched porn so I come at the subject with no preconceived notions of what is and what is not "popular".
Everything I've learned about sex has been through real life experience. The first time I "squirted" or gushed (which is more like I do) I thought there was something terribly wrong with me.
I thought I had peed all over Daddy and I was freaking out. Daddy sniffed the liquid and said it didn't smell anything like pee. Of course, NOW, I embrace that part of my sexuality. I'm sure the porn market doesn't have the corner on female ejaculation or any other thing to do with sex:).
Love,
Kitty