Tuesday, November 1, 2011

On why I blog

I love my blog. I really, really do. I love getting comments, I love reading everyone else's blogs, I love that we have this slice of intimacy into each others' lives.. into what, for me, is the most important part of my life, the bedrock on which every other wonderful thing is built.

Like with a house, so few people actually understand what a relationship is built on. I love crawling around in house crawlspaces, seeing what is going on underneath, what really makes the place tick, hold together, not fall down. The framing, the plumbing, the drains and the wiring are magnificent, and sometimes terrifying. Spiders don't bother me, nor do huge ugly mole crickets. It's the beauty of the foundation.

The things that go on on my blog are the foundation, the crawlspace of my relationship, and by extension, my life.

I love, love, love looking at my stats and seeing people spending literally hours reading my blog, sucking the whole thing down in one single sitting, or several strung out across a few days. My blog! This is a thrill beyond exhibition(from which I get none), it's the joy of providing entertainment worthy of consumption. I really, really love it. So few of you actually comment, but I really appreciate the readership nonetheless. I'm talking to you, UK, Ohio, Mississippi, Wisconsin, others that were longer ago, and BlackberryTasteIc(who actually commented!). I really do love my lurkers.

I don't like that it's so important to be completely anonymous. I always scoffed at Internet anonymity in my adulthood, always felt that I needed to connect all parts of my life, to be whole. I hated the concept of pseudonyms, always used my real name in chat and everywhere once I grew into myself. Love my real name, it IS me.

I get that this type of blog makes that extremely unlikely, I understand the need for anonymity. But that doesn't mean I enjoy it.

I blog because I love to write. I've written ever since I can remember. I've devoured armloads of novels and I've written, written, written.

I also blog because I have these incredible, incredible sexual experiences, and each one deserves preserving, but the intensity of an experience following will often wipe most of a previous one from my brain. For a long time I would journal them, but that lacked a clearly-defined structure and I wound up with journals scattered across multiple machines, sometimes written on paper, in different programs as the whim struck me, not always dated because sometimes I forgot, thinking the program would do it for me (sometimes it did). No good.  I thought of having a private blog, but then wondered where the fun would be in that? My journals were all written from my own perspective and we barely ever actually use each other's names during sex.. so why not?

The extreme isolation I feel here in this huge city away from my friends and face-to-face interactions with people not related or married to me was also a factor in blogging now, as opposed to years ago when I had a job, and both in-person and Internet friends. Now every single one of my friends is an Internet friend. The blog provides me with some of what I was missing. External voices are so very appreciated.

My blog is very very heavy on descriptions of sex. Our sex is important and beautiful to me and I want to be able to experience each occasion again, not having it wiped from memory by the next beautiful thing. It's useful for tracking progress, seeing where we've been and how far we've come. It's mostly for me, but the knowledge that someone else can enjoy it as well is rather fulfilling.


  1. I should probably call this comment 'Oh why I like to read your blog'

    Have I mentioned why I specifically like reading your blog? There are basically four reasons.

    1. I like the way you write.
    2. You actually have something to say (which, sadly, can't be said for at least half of the blogs that I've looked into, but everyone is different, so to each their own I guess).
    3. I'm actually interested in what you have to say because it's either something that applies to me as well or makes me think (which I really appreciate).
    4. I'm fascinated by all things sex (well, mostly). Just because it fascinates me doesn't mean that I'd actually do all of those things I read about, but I like knowing what's out there and what gets other people off and why.

    Point one and two are absolute necessities for me to like something, the other two are a welcome bonus. So yes, when the stats tell you that you provide 'entertainment worthy of consumption', it's true. Your motivation coming from writing as well as looking at the stats, even better.

    And on a side note... When you see me reading a post (wait, you can actually see that?? ;-)) without commenting, the reason is not that I didn't like it. I don't think there's a single one of your posts that I didn't appreciate in its own way. But, on the internet as well as in real life, I'm usually one of those people who only say something when they feel that it's important. Just thought you should know :-)

  2. I'm the same way...a lot of times I read your blog, but don't feel like I have anything worthy to add:)! Keep writing!


  3. I'm glad there are some blogs out there that don't feel shy about sharing the sexual experiences they have with their partner. In BDSM blogs, you get a lot of sex talk, often fiction or erotica, but with DD blogs they talk a lot about spanking and punishments and just gloss over the sex. For us, the two are pretty much combined so it makes it hard to know how to write without offending the sensibilities of some of my DD readers. :)

  4. BlackberryTasteIc: I adore you and your wonderful comments (and this one especially.). I wouldn't expect a comment on every post. The hubris!

    I have quite a few readers, but they're all from different cities, and I can see the cities and which posts those cities have read, yes. :) I've connected a few readers with their cities.

    Kitty: I don't expect everyone to comment on every post - but some people never comment at all. That's an anonymity thing, I'm sure. Not everyone has an anonymous identity with which to comment, or wants to comment as "anonymous," which they can do if they want. Thanks for the encouragement!

    Sexperts: I was a bit unsure when I started here as so many bloggers in long-standing relationships seem to gloss over the actual sex. I thought maybe it just wasn't a done thing. I've found a few others who do as well, which makes me feel like less of a freaky exhibitionist pervert and more like a regular run-of-the-mill pervert. :)

  5. I don't think you'll see a blog post by me with anywhere near the intimate details that you share here. But, that's because we're all individuals. We should all share what we want to share and what we feel comfortable sharing. To tell you the truth, the swearing I've seen in some blogs bothers me more than some of the intimate descriptions. So, some blogs I just don't read. Others I know to read cautiously, aware that I may decide to check out in the middle of a post. And then there are other blogs that I'm comfortable reading most everything. *shrug*

  6. Conina, if you were the freaky exhibitionist pervert, what would that turn your readers into? But I get it, and it's weird because I sometimes do wonder why the hell I read about other people's sex life. Am I a peeping tom, or uhm...tina perhaps?

    But then again, it's the raw and honest truth. It's life. What could possibly be wrong with that?

  7. Grace: I absolutely agree with you, everyone should share what they're comfortable with sharing. :)

    As to swearing, I can't even monitor that. What to me may be as natural as breathing, or a genuinely intimate declaration, to some people may be obscene. I've seen some people vilify "fuck" and yet embrace "cock," or some other permutation I can't grasp. It's very very personal, what words a person will and won't use. I choose to utilize many words as my own that may offend some people, but that is never my intent. We do tend to use a lot of colorful language in bed together, and of course when I describe it faithfully that turns up as well. But I won't apologize for what turns me on. It takes all kinds!

    I don't talk like that in my daily life, and I don't talk like that in posts like this one. I try to strike a balance.

    Thanks so much for the thought-provoking comment!

  8. BlackberryTasteIc: Oooh, another thought-provoking one! Let's see.... I just wrote a whole post in response to you. I'll post it shortly. :)

  9. In thinking about it more, I think that sometimes it's actually the way the words are used, not even so much the words themselves. It's not that I never swear...not proud of that, just saying. And yes, some words bother me more than others and everyone is different. But some people like to use swear words as the icing over the whole cake rather than as a few sprinkles, ya know? lol I don't know if I'm making any sense, but I wasn't commenting on your blog in particular about swear words. In truth, I've only read a couple of your blog posts thus far. ;)

  10. Grace: I understand that. I have started reading blogs and immediately navigated away never to visit again, because of gratuitous use of foul language. I enjoy a little filth now and then as much as the next girl (and to be honest probably a lot more,) but I also have a deep appreciation of language, and too many dirty words used in too vulgar a context just send me running.


Thank you for reading. I hope you'll let me know you were here - I like friends!