It's a signal to me. "Kiss me."
It's how he refocuses me from whatever I'm doing onto him, and I obey without hesitation, almost every single time. Escalator at the mall? "Kiss me." I do it.
Snuggling in bed? "Kiss me." I do it. That one usually leads to more. Not every time, but often enough that it sends tingles down my spine just to hear it.
This time was different. This was a marked departure from anything he's done before.
Usually if I'm reading in bed he'll tell me to put down the Nook first, or try to coax me to do so by teasing me mercilessly, giving me a moment to get to the end of a sentence or a paragraph. This time he didn't do any of that. I was reading, and he was peering over my shoulder and he said it. "Kiss me."
I froze. My initial response to those words was to obey, but perhaps I should struggle? I was reading! It was only a couple of seconds, maybe three, but he grabbed my shoulder and turned me toward him, claiming my lips with his. He chastised me when our lips parted: "A little slow sometimes, aren't you? I told you to kiss me!"
It thrilled me. He knew what he was doing. He knew exactly what he'd done to me.
He let me suck his cock after he was done ravishing my mouth with his. When he said "You can stop now. I do have other uses for you," I didn't. When he said "If you don't stop now I'm going to come down your throat," I didn't.
After he did what he'd said he'd do and he was holding me in his arms, he murmured through his haze of satisfaction: "I get the feeling you've been wanting to do that for a long time."
I had. Oh, I had.
He used it against me when he fingered and talked me to my own orgasm. "You like to suck cock, but you like to be fucked, too. You just couldn't stop yourself, could you? I came right into that slutty mouth of yours. You sucked it right out of me. Such. a. slut." His relentless avalanche of words set me off so much that my entire body arched and I could feel my legs shaking uncontrollably. Oh, and yes, I could hear the sounds I was making too.
"You like it when I talk to you," he told me afterwards.
He is so observant!
I can be silent no longer. Me? Silent? But I've got to ask. How many questions have I begun with that statement? Hee.
ReplyDeleteOkay. I really hope asking this doesn't bother you, or anyone else reading this. And it's so odd that I should have to preface this question with an apology in advance, but . . .
Why has it become the thing to be called a slut?
I mean, the word means promiscuous. That's its actual meaning, and no one whose blog I'm reading is promiscuous.
Yes, I realize as I've been perusing blogs like yours, and others, and other naughty sites, that "slut" seems to have become the word for a "sub" or sex slave, because I guess there's no other one-word slang for sex slave, so the word has been borrowed and given another meaning, and the new meaning is pretty much the opposite of the actual meaning, which is very popular to do these days, and happens to annoy the heck out of me, but I digress . . .
Since a "sub" or sex slave is generally devoted to one particular man, she's kind of the opposite of a slut. She's exclusive, faithful, monogamous.
And why, in a world where women want to be able to enjoy sex without being considered "bad" or "naughty", why would they want to be called sluts for enjoying sex?
My man started calling me "his slut" the first time I gave him a blow job. I had not yet been visiting these blogs, was shocked, horrified, dumbfounded, but afraid to say anything, and my mouth was full. He's the second man I've been with in my life, the first being my husband of 25+ years. Aside from a nun in a convent, I'm likely one of the least slutty women on earth.
And after being horrified, I moved on to being my usual very observant of word definition self, and really wanted to tell him that calling me "his slut" is an oxymoron, since a slut is promiscuous and "his" slut inplies exclusivity.
Took me several months, but I finally told him I don't like it and that it turns me off. And I mean turns me off cold as ice. Any arousal I had. GONE. Being insulted, calling me the opposite of what I am, and inspiring me to run and get a dictionary in the middle of pleasuring him with my mouth, does not arousal make.
My man is a very good listener. He hasn't called me it since :)
OH OH OH!!! I forgot to say, my man does the "Kiss me" thing too. THAT I like :)))
ReplyDeleteI love it when Daddy just takes a book out of my hands or orders me off of the computer to be with him! Enjoyed the post, Conina!!!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Kitty
P.S. I'm anxious to hear your reply to t1klish, also. Hadn't really considered it, but since she brought it up...
The question you need to ask yourself, to understand this particular wordplay, is whether or not the encounter with your man was intensified via the use of the word, "slut". Some women get off on degradation. I love my Grace with all my heart and there is no one in the world I respect more, but she absolutely LOVES it when I call her things like slut, whore, cumbucket, and bitch when we are in the heat of the moment. In her case its about the idea of how much she gives over to me. Its not so much that she is worthless, if you're thinking that you've missed the point. Its that she has given anything of worth to me, especially in those moments.
ReplyDeleteDegrading talk, obviously, isn't for everyone. Its just something that has to feel right. Logic goes out the window. Its 100 percent "How did it make you feel?".
Not sure if what I said holds true for Conina or not, but that's my two cents on it.
t1klish: Don't ever apologize for curiosity. Not to me, anyway. I enjoy your questions quite a lot.
ReplyDeleteSo I can only respond for myself, because being called a slut is a personal thing. Some women have reclaimed the word entirely. Some enjoy being called various names because it's humiliating.
Clearly, I'm only into this guy. But for him, (just about) anything is possible. For him I am a slut.
For these definitions:
1. derogatory a dirty slatternly woman
2. derogatory an immoral woman
I'm not turned on right now, so the appeal is very minimal and I have a difficult time even explaining it. But when I am turned on, when he is using me for whatever he fancies at that moment, and he calls me a slut, it is powerful. Perhaps a part of it is a mutual fantasy between us in which I am a slut and he is just using me - we suspend our disbelief for a moment.
Anyone who's ever watched TV or a play grasps suspension of disbelief.
In any of these cases, between us, it is not shorthand for "submissive," if it is shorthand for anything it is "dirty dirty girl who will do anything if it means she gets sex." So parts of those definitions I copied still apply - even if the sex I'm looking for is just from this one, fantastic, guy. I will do anything for it.
Hope that helps!
And what Duality said. :)
ReplyDeleteKitty: It's good to feel they're paying that much attention.
Hope my answer was helpful to you as well.
It might have made it hotter for HIM, if calling women dirty names turns him on. But for me, like I said, it had the opposite effect. I just felt insulted, and had no idea why he was doing it. That's how I ended up here reading these blogs, in my online search for the source of why he was calling me dirty names.
ReplyDeleteWe're both almost 50, and I'd never heard of such a thing before. So I looked it up online, found out it was some popular new thing to do, and all over current porn. Didn't exist in the porn I used to watch in the 80's and 90's.
All the women I know in real life were horrified when I told them about it. I grew up in a world where men called their woman honey, sweetheart, darling, etc., and where come to a climax wasn't spelled with a "U".
t1klish: That's the world I grew up in too. He calls me "love," "my beautiful," and "my sweet girl," and those things charm and delight me, and bind me to him. But he can also call me dirty things, and the dichotomy of it pleases me. I especially love it when he juxtoposes "sweet" with a dirty name. "Sweet little slut," for example, really boils my blood in the best way possible.
ReplyDeleteYum.
Variety is the spice of life. How boring it would be if we all loved the same things!
ReplyDeleteHumiliation is one of my kinks, but it's not without limits, and it's certainly not for everyone. Similarly, I know a lot of ladies who would be turned off cold by the mere mention of a spanking. Part of the appeal of being called a slut is the fact that I'm not one, in the traditional sense of promiscuity. Part of it is what my love explained above. Part of it will never be defined, just like I can't explain why I prefer mint chocolate chip ice cream to plain chocolate. There aren't really answers for some of this stuff.
Oh, and Conina, this is SO hot.
It really is interesting how different we are. The untruth of it is what turns me off. Him calling me a slut is just as unappealing as if he called me a bank robber or any other thing I'm not.
ReplyDeleteBack when I was a teenager, in the 70's, we used to play truth or dare, and it used to really turn me on having to answer the truth to sexy questions. It wouldn't have done a thing for me to say yes to a question if the true answer was no.
I'm pondering, and I think the only way I could maybe enjoy being called something I'm not is if we decided in advance to officially roleplay. For example, if we decided that I was going to pretend to be a prostitute while he pretended to be my customer, then calling me names would make sense and might work for me. But as long as we're just being ourselves, calling me things I'm not is just a turn off for me.
For the sake of science, I called him a bank robber a little bit ago and asked him if it turned him on. It did not... or so he says.
ReplyDeleteOkay, here's the best way I can describe it to you. The truth or dare thing, think back to that exact thrill you got when someone made you answer with a truth. Think about why it turned you on and remember what happened with your body. The thrill, the adrenaline, your blood quickening. Those types of moments are what drives a sub. The questions that were asked? Those are the types of things that drive Doms.
ReplyDeleteA Dom isn't going to just call a sub, "Slut" without a reason behind it. At a minimum they are fishing. Say something off the wall and watch the reaction. But most of the time its because the sub has admitted to the Dom a fantasy in which she acts like a total slut. Understand that fantasies aren't always something a sub wants to see come true. For Grace it very seldom trends in that direction. What the word does (and I'm only talking about Grace here) is put her into that fantasy. It adds all those chemical reactions you got during truth or dare and enhances what is already going on.
Beyond that there is what I talked about above. She just loves to be submissive. She loves the feel of me having power over her. She loves giving up control and just letting me do with her as I will. But what you need to understand is that by doing that, she gets exactly what she wants. Power is all in perception.
As for why your man called you that, best guess (and I say what's next with all possible respect), considering the generation involved, he equated a blowjob with something a slut would do. Somewhere in his life he probably got a blowjob, was shocked, commented to the woman on her behavior, and she encouraged the response you got from him. It doesn't necessarily make him a Dom and the thrill you got with truth or dare certainly doesn't mean you're a sub. I honestly think you're dealing with an apples and oranges type of thing. I don't think the reason we call people sluts and the reason he called you a slut line up. But that's just my view from the peanut gallery.
Duality . . .
ReplyDeleteFirst, to respond to part of your comment, this was at the very beginning of our relationship, I had never told him any fantasies about wanting to be a slut, and I don't have fantasies of wanting to be a slut, so him calling me that was definitely not based on any fantasy scenario I had given him. This was also before I had any idea he was kind of looking for a sex slave.
He did tell me he's into porn, and from his descriptions of the kind of porn he's into, it's what I've seen at BDSM sites, where it's common to call the woman a slut, so I can only conclude that's where he got the idea to call me one, since he's apparently looking for that kind of dynamic. I mean seriously, he told me he wants me to do his friend, quote, "So I can show him I'm your Master and you're my slut."
So this isn't because he thinks I'm slutty for enjoying giving him blowjobs. Believe it or not, women of my generation have always included blowjobs in our sex lives if we like it. It's not a new thing.
Conina . . I want to apologize that my comment kind of took over your topic. I will do my best to avoid asking a question again that has so much potential for discussion.
t1klish: Don't apologize to me, it tickles me pink to see discussion!
ReplyDeleteGracie: Re: calling him a bank robber, I laughed (am still chuckling to myself a bit). You're quite funny.
t1klish - I for one am so glad you started this discussion! Being called a slut or a bitch also does nothing for me personally, and it was very interesting to see it explained and discussed. There are, of course, things that Papacrow does call me and say to me that very definitely do make me react as discribed... I guess it's just a case of finding your particular trigger/s :)
ReplyDeleteI also laughed till I cried about the whole bank robber thing! That's all I'm going to be able to think of now, when we next have sex, calling him a bank robber!!!