Wednesday, November 23, 2011

To your scattered ramblings go

We were having some awesome sex when our little one started screaming to wake the dead. Poor little thing has a cold now too and couldn't breathe.

We had a funny conversation though as well, in the aftermath of settling the child.

It even had a title.

"Things we'd say to our 18-year old selves to freak them out and blow their minds."
We were 18 when we first met each other.

Me to him:
"See that girl? One day she's going to be begging to suck your cock."
"See that girl? One day she's going to beg to have you hurt her and fuck her multiple times a day, and you won't even know how to respond."

Him to me:
"See that guy? You're going to like him. A LOT."
"One day you'll be begging me to suck my cock." (aside, to me in the present) "See? You wouldn't believe it either."

Him to himself:
"One day, you're going to have sex. More than once!"


Then there's the dream!

I dreamed that my husband's older brother - my husband does not have an older brother - started hanging out with me a lot, eventually progressing to holding me in bed. He was whispering things to me, this nonexistent brother - "I love holding you like this, I love hanging out with you, I love.."

I broke in - "I love you."

He stopped, froze, didn't move. Some weird dream movements happened, and I was next to the bed, doing something. Some time seemed to have passed. He was still there, looking at me, pondering. A random person came in and sat on the bed, fiddling with something. We didn't speak for a while because we were embarrassed about this person hearing us. Eventually we decided we'd have to talk with that person there, but in low voices.

My husband's nonexistent, nameless brother reached across the bed, clutching at me, pulling me close enough I could hear his whisper. I can still feel his grip on my shoulder. "Listen," he said, "if you don't think you can fulfill your promises to my brother.." he said this like a man who's about to suggest we run away together.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I was outraged. The very suggestion that I wouldn't love my husband anymore just because I also had some deep affection for this man! How dare he question the depth of our True Love!?

The dream kind of dissolved with my anger.... but now I'm left missing this person.


  1. When I was 18, and had just begun a relationship with the 18 year old who would become my husband of 25+ years, we were kissing on the couch, for quite a while, and he hadn't tried anything more yet. Good grief. so I said, "Why aren't you trying anything?" Then as he attempted to explain that he had been trying to be a gentleman, I suddenly remembered I hadn't yet fed the dog that evening, the dog that my mom's new husband said I'd better remember to feed while they were away, because he didn't want to come home to a dead dog.

    So I went to the laundry room where the dog food was kept, filled the bowl, opened the back door to give it to the dog, and it was dead. Seriously.

    It's the holidays, I seem to be going down memory lane. I better not get too sentimental though and text Master some rambling text about my feelings for him.

  2. Oh, it's a weird feeling, isn't it? Dreaming of someone who doesn't exist and then waking up and shortly thereafter realizing that you'll never get it back. It throws me every time.

  3. t1klish: That's a horrible, sad story. Had you waited that long to feed the dog? I can't imagine it would have just died of not being fed in such a short time.

    BlackberryTasteIc: It is. I've only had it once before, but then it was another "I love this person and my husband too" kind of thing (with a huge backstory as to why, and I was actually married to this other man too), and I still remember it years later.


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